Of Things That Are Illegal
by iMickyChan
Summary: When tree-climbing and spying become things that Sasuke Uchiha excel in. SasuSaku, a very slight hint of ItaSaku but for a specific reason. Fluff and Romance away!


Absolute crackfic with nothing but pure fluff. Haha, no angst this time and it's relatively short. The result of complete 20 minutes of boredom after I finished a test in my American Lit Class, and during that time the plotbunnies attacked.

I really appreciated the reviews left for "Pretend Reality" so thanks to all who took time out of their lives to even bother reading it.

Enjoy this one!

* * *

"Itachi, how illegal is murder?"

"Very illegal."

"Oh."

The room was filled with silence save for the turning of pages as the elder Uchiha tried to read his book in peace, his efforts completely thwarted with the irritated female perched on his bed. For once he thought she had run out of absurd questions to ask him, internally dancing with contentment at the lack of noise, Itachi continued to read.

"What about assault?"

He spoke too soon.

"Sakura, who's incurred your wrath this time?" He sighed dropping the book, giving up on any notion of finishing the chapter.

Her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, "Your dumb stupid brother."

"Ah, I see my foolish otouto, what has he done?"

"That's exactly it!" She cried in exasperation, "He's done absolutely NOTHING! I'm beginning to think he really doesn't like me after all."

Her voice dropped to a whisper, at the thought that her best friend who had just recently confessed to her, had planned the entire incident as some cruel joke, crushing her hopes of romance back to unrequited love.

Itachi grunted as if stating a fact, "Oh believe me, he likes you."

A puzzled look crossed her features, her nose wrinkling as a tell-tale sign of confusion.

"What, how would you know that?"

"You are the only girl that he has let into this house without the intent of doing so in order to set the guard dogs on them," he stated matter-of-factly.

"And that's obviously the most endearing declaration of love ever, right? My dogs won't maim you?" She laughed, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, I approve of you," he mentioned as a side note, "And my parents utterly adore you. They've been planning yours and his wedding since the day you two met……which was seventeen years ago."

Sakura blushed prettily at the compliment, "But it's _his_ approval that I'm after, I jus-"

"And the fact that he's perched on a tree limb outside my window at this very moment trying to listen in on our conversation is a good sign," he interjected nonchalantly.

Her eyes widened visibly, "Wha-"

"Don't turn around, he'll know that we've seen him," his response was short and curt.

Sakura tensed, trying to calm down and hoping that at least in appearance she seemed relaxed.

"What is he doing out there!?" Not able to hold in her outburst she whispered back fiercely, "Shouldn't we help him down before he hurts himself!?"

The corners of Itachi's mouth twisted upwards in the slightest of smiles, showing that he was clearly amused with the current predicament.

"Don't worry, your beloved Sasuke-kun won't get hurt. I've been watching him the entire time. And you can stop whispering, the glass is too thick, he most likely can't hear a thing," his grin turned sinister, "but I'm sure he can see us perfectly well."

His last comment only seemed to make Sakura more frustrated.

"Next time I'd like to be informed when we're being spied on, please."

"Hn, I'll try to remember that. But my, my, he's a jealous one isn't he?" Itachi declared.

Sakura fought the temptation to see exactly what Sasuke was doing up in that tree and instead offered a simple, "What?"

Itachi took off his reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

"My tree is missing a precious branch, he snapped it off when, with all the seating arrangements you could have possibly chosen in this room, you decided to situate yourself on my bed."

The speechless female struggled to string together a coherent sentence, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly, "B-but I…It was comfy! Y-you…M-me…he can't possibly…OH GOD."

She plopped her face in her hands, completely embarrassed as the color of her skin becomingly matched that of a well ripened tomato.

"Your apparent blushing just cost me another tree branch."

The amused older sibling leaned back in his chair, a look of contemplation and concentration flitted across his face. The wicked smile plastered across his handsome features could not bode well.

"Sakura?" He queried, "Do you really want to test if my little brother truly likes you?"

Still too humiliated to even face the man and friend in front of her, said girl gave her head a quick nod.

"The plan's a little extreme….but it'll have to do. I'm going to have to kiss you."

His last statement successfully separated her face from her hands with amazing speed that should have given the unfortunate girl whiplash.

"You'll have to wha-" she all but blurted finding that in the last few minutes she had been unable to formulate complete words and sentences. However it was too late, for Itachi had already swooped in for the kill.

"Mmph!"

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha was not a happy camper, first of all because he never understood the ridiculous saying because Uchihas did not _camp_. Second because this tree was becoming mighty uncomfortable, and finally because the girl he loved was currently sitting on his brother's _bed _chatting the day away.

"_He better stay put in that lovely chair of his...far, far, far away from Sakura…And pick up that book of his again too. I approve of reading. I do NOT approve of any close proximity."_

A vein bulged in his forehead.

"Is the girl _that_ naïve and innocent to not get it!?" He all but shouted, knowing that they couldn't hear much of anything from the other side of the window.

Sasuke tried leaning forward to get a better view of what was happening.

"..."

The scene unraveling before him had his face turning beet red. His blood pressure rose drastically.

"That is NOT staying far away...DID HE JUST KISS HER!?"

And that's when the struggle between the younger Uchiha and the laws of the world finally came to an end, gravity crowned the victor.

* * *

A loud crash and a cacophony of rustling of leaves and broken branches resounded from outside the window followed by what sounded like a muffled, _"That fucking bastard!"_

It had just been a light peck on the lips, but it had still successfully left the pinkette in a daze. The next thing she knew Sakura had been yanked out of Itachi's room by her forearm as a result of none other than a fuming Sasuke Uchiha.

Itachi leaned casually against his door frame as she shouted, "You kids have fun!" The smirk never left his face.

Sakura was soon after shoved into the younger Uchiha's sleeping quarters none too gently, and while still in shock and going through the process of recovering, she felt another pair of lips collide with hers. She responded, to his delight, albeit timidly, and as the need for air grew evident Sasuke broke the kiss and hugged her tightly.

"You are _never_ going in my brother's room again, you got that? You're _mine_," he huffed.

She nodded her head numbly in response, her mind still not comprehending any of the events that had just occurred. But she did reach this conclusion: It was every girl's dream to kiss an Uchiha, and not only had she kissed one, she had kissed both with a mere thirty second interval separating the two occasions.

And that is when her poor overheated brain could no longer function. Sakura fainted.

* * *

A week later Itachi walked into the living room to one of the most adorable sights he had ever seen. Sakura had fallen asleep, her head resting on his charming little brother's lap as the same boy stared lovingly at her sleeping features. However, upon sensing Itachi's arrival Sasuke stopped aimlessly threading his fingers through her feather-like hair and sat up to glare, with looks that could kill.

The sound that was emitted from his throat could only be described as that of a territorial cat's hiss. Itachi chuckled.

"_Ah, how good it is to be young." _

* * *

Feel like reviewing? A) Yes. B) Yes. C) Yes. D) All of the above.

Teehee.

-Love iMickyChan!


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